Monday, 19 August 2013

Made a Bed to Lie in

Literally.

For the last two years or so I've had a horrible bed. The slats have slowly been falling out of it, snapping in half as the (at least) 15 year old wood rotted. My mattress wasn't much better, the fabric splitting to let the springs dig into my leg through my blankets-though thankfully not through my electric blanket.

Finally, after much complaining to my parents Mum took me out to get a new bed.

She was very restrictive on my choices. I wasn't allowed to have the Disney princess one. I wasn't allowed the race car bed. No bunk bed and nothing too expensive. There was a bed that was also a lounge I liked but the logistics of fitting it into my room (I would have had to move most of the furniture) made me decide not to get it.

The one I picked had drawers under it because I had a bedhead on my previous bed and I was so sad that no one made beds like that anymore so I wanted one with storage space. It was also much higher than my old bed. I did not get a new mattress as my brother had kept the one he had before my parents had brought him a new bed and mattress two years back.

Now, the bed was delivered the next day. In two boxes.

You see where this is going.

It arrived about 10:30am. By midday my brother was up and the pair of us set to work building the bed. First we had to remove the old bed. It took us ten minutes with a hammer, minimal splinters and we were able to save my bedhead!

But then the fun part started. And the screwing jokes. Throughout the day, the amount of screwing jokes reached epic portions. I had never realised you could stick a 'screwing' into so many sentences.

Did you know, the instructions for building a bed are actually rather simple. It's like they think you are an idiot. Rereading that sentence I think I see a problem with it but I'm not going to mention it. In a way, the instructions were like my brother who assumed I was of no use and basically a complete fool. Somehow we managed to get through the first hour of building with little shouting.

And by the end we had built the two drawers. We got bored and had lunch.

After lunch we started on the next step, had a fight and gave up. I ungave up about a half hour later when I realised if I didn't I was sleeping on the floor. My brother returned when there were things to be hammered (with a hammer! Dirty minds).

After much screwing; the realisation that one piece was missing the holes it was supposed to have so it would stay in place and will thus have to be glued in; and finally noticing one piece wasn't put on straight; we had managed to build my bed.

We moved his old mattress onto my bed and then I had to kick him out of it so I could test the new (old) mattress. At this point I went and played games on my computer because it was 6pm and we had been building a bed all day.

The point of this entry? Beds are much more comfortable when the mattress doesn't touch the floor, screwing jokes are always funny and building a bed to lie in is really, really hard work.