Ladies and Double Standards (aka Fancy Ranting)

"Don't do that, it's not ladylike."

Seriously, this has been something I've been wondering for ages. What, exactly, is a lady?

Now I could prattle on about a lady being traditionally a woman of higher class, born into society. Women of the middle and upper classes in the 18th and 19th centuries are a very good image for a lady and they were expected to stay at home and raise their children- seen but not heard. But while I'm sure this influences the concept now, I'm not really interested in that. I'm curious as to what being a 'lady' is in a modern setting.

According to my parents, a lady seems to be a girl who does what her parents tell her; who always sits in a proper position; never makes rude noises or farts and always uses decent language. I cannot tell you how many times I've been told to not sit like that, it's not ladylike or to not swear because it's not ladylike. Not that I do swear a lot, but my brother, at the same age can drop a swear or two and it's written off as him being young. In fact, for a old time there I was critical of others swearing as they failed to live up to this standard I had been taught. There's a time and place you don't swear, I'll admit that, but neither should the well deserved fuck after a dropped phone be told off by a parent who wasn't meant to overhear that.

But anyway. That is not the point. The point is, a lady seems to me to be someone who isn't confrontational. Who doesn't do things outside the norm. Who doesn't make waves or do anything that might upset anyone. Who keeps her contrary opinions to herself

Someone who is seen and not heard?

Now, I wonder if you raise your daughter to be this lady, when is she going to speak up? When is she going to make her voice heard and protest things that she does not find correct? Or assert herself in a job interview like employers seem to want?

I don't think she is.

Maybe I'm taking this too far. Maybe being a lady is just not swearing and sitting in a correct position. But, why must I change my ways to be this lady? When the concept has already proved to have double standards in how it treats the matter of swearing...

Then I think I shall continue to answer "Don't do that, it's not ladylike." with "I'm no lady."