So recently I was talking with a pair of my friends in a chatroom. I've never met these guys personally, we've only chatted in text based rooms (for the most part, I have had Skype and Pokemon phone calls with both) so they've never seen my face. So we got onto the topic of looking a lot like our siblings and one shared a photo of them with their brother. In return, I shared one of my brother and I.
And this person complimented me. Not like, 'Oh you look lovely' but called me beautiful and just described me as genuinely cute. Bemused at the reaction, I shared the rest of the post that photo was from and got called sexy in one of the photos. At this point the other person in the chat joined in, adding her voice to the chorus of me being pretty.
Well, firstly I cannot describe how good it feels to be described as pretty and beautiful and all those things. I don't wear makeup either and the photos were taken by my brother so I can't excuse away the compliments as being based on that or because the photographer was good. They genuinely liked me.
It's made me realise that every compliment I've gotten, mostly from my parents, has always either been about my face- my eyes are gorgeous, my hair looks great- or said with a qualifier. I would be a very pretty girl, if I lost some weight. You just need to lose some weight and you'll be a very pretty girl. Lose a couple of kilos and you'll look lovely.
Which is...not great for confidence. I want to lose weight but I also want to eat chocolate and at the moment that's causing a conflict where I'm not actually losing weight. It's tiring monitoring every bite you eat and often I cannot be bothered. So I've just been living with the idea that I'm not really pretty, I just exist.
And this chat has rocked my world with the idea that that might not be true.
Our culture is definitely a bit fucked, in the sense that people get told that in order to be anything ELSE, they first must be skinny. Otherwise it doesn't matter. And that overweight and pretty are mutually exclusive.
ReplyDeleteBut, it's not true. You are beautiful Bri and I'm glad people are telling you that and making you feel good about yourself because you should.
I'm glad you had a good day :)
I know it's fucked and I know skinny is not the be all and end all. But there's such a difference between /knowing/ and /believing/. I get most of my compliments when I do manage to take weight off which just reinforces the belief I need to lose more to be pretty.
Delete*blushes* Thank you. It's sometimes hard to believe though.
I hope you had an even better one. =)
Yes, you! :D
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely hard to keep in mind (I certainly suck at it) but beauty is a perspective thing. People see you through a lens, and everyone's lens is different, even though the fashion industry is fighting against that cos moniez. There's always someone who'll think you are teh hotness, even if you haven't met them yet, or if they don't say it to you. And if the people you were complimented by are your friends, their knowledge of your personality affects their lens, so it's a double-compliment cos they (probably) think you're beautiful/sexy on the inside too :)
If you wanna lose weight to feel more confident, be more healthy, whatever, you go for it. If not, then don't sweat it too much, cos it's not the end of the world. The important thing is that you're happy with who you are, and that if you aren't, you're working towards being who you want to be by making positive changes. Confidence in your appearance and making it work for you is more important than what you actually look like.
Just my 2¢. But yay compliments ^_^
=P
DeleteYeah, lens are a definite thing in beauty. I've just never had anyone point out to me that they see me through a lens that allows them to see me as pretty? If that makes sense. If not, I just have never been called sexy before. Cute yes, my managers at work called me that a lot but more for what I did then what I looked like... And I can only remember one time a guy tried to get close to me and that's not actually a good memory and idk if he thought I was sexy or if it was just I was /there/. It is a double-compliment, which is why I felt so great about it.
Urgh, I have no idea what I want really. My weight is just a huge mess of urgh and I wanna eat chocolate and still be thin. So, idk. I barely care until I suddenly care a lot.
Hehe, yes! (Also HOW DID YOU DO THE CENT THING, AAHHH?!)