So I've not been posting much (read at all) which is kinda usual. I've noticed I only use this blog when I need to think/talk something out; I'm procrastinating; or I want the RL friends who read this blog to know something but I don't feel comfortable saying it aloud. Which means that I really don't use it that much. Take that as you will.
Right now, my parents are away (for about another week), I have a dog asleep on the floor beside me and the other dog asleep basically on top of me (surprisingly it's Jack who's asleep on me; he's the new rescue dog so I'm flattered he trusts me enough to sleep like this). I got a mark back Tuesday that was a 90 so my Uni work is going well - even if I'm currently procrastinating the next four essays due. I did say I only used this when procrastinating. And I'm finally free of the awful teacher of the most useless subject I've ever taken. Somehow, something happened and the faculty replaced her in Week 11 of 13 with a competent teacher. An entertaining and engaging competent teacher. I'd have settled for competent! Not to say she wasn't a nice person - she was quite nice - just an awful teacher with an ah... interesting teaching style. I've complained about her so much I'm sure half my friends hate her as much as I do just because I won't shut up about her!
I also have a new job which I'm looking to start after Uni term has finished which is just the most perfect timing ever. I'm also managing to lose weight again and I've started to get annoyed at myself when I can't/don't do my daily walk. I've come a long way from hating the twice weekly 30 minute walks - now I find anything under an hour to be really quite short and not worth bothering with and I'm doing that at least five times a week. Exercise is now... fun? Just not running. Walking is fine. The dogs love me for it at least.
So basically life is good?
Life is good.
And just you wait. My parents will come back next week and I'll be so annoyed. It's been peaceful and lovely without them here. Even if I've had to adult so much; I'm liking the feeling. And the control. I'm going to hate giving it back.
But that's next week's problem.
Showing posts with label Awesome Thing is Awesome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Awesome Thing is Awesome. Show all posts
Thursday, 15 October 2015
Wednesday, 15 April 2015
It Happened
I'm 21.
I know it shouldn't be a huge deal; it's just another year. But I lived so long believing I wouldn't reach my 18th birthday that to reach my 21st is just beyond comprehension. I don't feel older or different...
But I'm alive. I made it. Go me.
It's also kinda bitter for me that Nana isn't here. While I am...not happy but relieved maybe, that she's not suffering anymore, it had always been a fact of life for me that if I lived to see 21, she would be there for it. She was a fact of life and it's still sinking in that she's not here to be a fact anymore. Even when my parents (and her and Grandma) had said their being here to see this day was unlikely, I'd always figured they were being silly.
Guess they weren't.
Grandma is still here. She wasn't at my birthday dinner as I wasn't subjecting anyone including her to that experience but I did drop in on her today. ...Mostly because she was driving Dad nuts every moment I spent away from her but I did see her. She made it.
Though the rate she's going someone I love will kill her before my brother's 21st. Twenty minutes is not an hour and fifteen calls in a day is not reasonable. Dementia is evil.
But anyway. Today was good and I have enough keys to open any door...well any tiny lock at least.
I know it shouldn't be a huge deal; it's just another year. But I lived so long believing I wouldn't reach my 18th birthday that to reach my 21st is just beyond comprehension. I don't feel older or different...
But I'm alive. I made it. Go me.
It's also kinda bitter for me that Nana isn't here. While I am...not happy but relieved maybe, that she's not suffering anymore, it had always been a fact of life for me that if I lived to see 21, she would be there for it. She was a fact of life and it's still sinking in that she's not here to be a fact anymore. Even when my parents (and her and Grandma) had said their being here to see this day was unlikely, I'd always figured they were being silly.
Guess they weren't.
Grandma is still here. She wasn't at my birthday dinner as I wasn't subjecting anyone including her to that experience but I did drop in on her today. ...Mostly because she was driving Dad nuts every moment I spent away from her but I did see her. She made it.
Though the rate she's going someone I love will kill her before my brother's 21st. Twenty minutes is not an hour and fifteen calls in a day is not reasonable. Dementia is evil.
But anyway. Today was good and I have enough keys to open any door...well any tiny lock at least.
Monday, 17 November 2014
Remember Remember...
Let's pretend I actually managed to post this on the 5th of November or something close to it instead of nearly two weeks later...
So I'm a bit of a liar about weekly updates. But I've been a bit sick and busy so taking the time I should be working on my essay to write this. Yesterday was Bonfire Night, aka the day the English (British??) celebrate that time a dude nearly blew up Parliament but was caught by burning fires (with or without a stuffed version of him on it). Also there's fireworks. For like the last week, and I'm told continuing for the next week.
I made the choice to go out of town to celebrate this, as while Exeter did have a celebration happening Ottery St Mary seemed to be the place to be. Everyone I knew was going, and a bit of research showed that the 'Tar Barrels' they had there were world famous? According to them.
Either way, about 5:30pm I bundled up in my warmest clothes (which wasn't as warm as I really needed), met a friend and we caught the prebooked bus to Ottery St Mary. He had one of his flatmates with him but she was meeting her boyfriend there. Once she did, we saw her all of twice and both times by accident so she wasn't really a part of my night.
First thing we did do, once at the event (a good fifteen minute walk from the bus stop, half of which was along a dark, dark road), was head towards the smoke to see the bonfire just out of town. The very very big bonfire. Like I heard people saying the flames were getting to be 100 foot tall and staying about 50 metres from the fire, I could feel the heat of it. It was SO big.
<A close up A not close up>
We got closer. It got really, really warm. I thought I was going to have sunburn, it was that hot. After we'd had our fill of burning things- it took a while- we headed back towards the town, stopping to grab some food from one of the many food stalls along the road while ducking into a field to look at the rides they had- all overpriced but well lit. Night fair, for the win.
For a while we wondered around town, in search of something amusing. Then we found it, walking into a women's tar barrel race in a crowded but not overly crowded street. We got front road, well standing positions, as the women ran the barrels up and down the road we were standing on. Every so often I would have to move fast to get out of the road of the flaming barrel of tar (and woman) coming right at me. It was awesome, though by now I was glad I hadn't brought my camera (or honestly anything that didn't fit into the pockets of my overcoat).
Sadly the barrel couldn't last forever, so eventually the running of it ended. I caved in and brought a programme and my friend and I went in search of another race...or run. Not sure what the specifics are if there's no winner or other competitors...
But we must have been the worse navigators ever because we couldn't track down the next race. Annoyed we went back to the bonfire, which had died down since we left it. Though it was still big- I was told it would still be burning today and that they just leave it to burn out. I could believe that, being able to see the blue flames in the fire. And still feel some of the heat, though nowhere near as much.
Eventually we again got bored of burning things and decided to wander back into town.
Instead we wandered into a crowd. A very big crowd. Seeing no way around it, the pair of us tried to make our way through it, ignoring the large amount of pushing and shoving happening. I'm shorter than my friend and after he nearly lost me in the crowd we grabbed hands, not wanting to get lost in the mess.
It was then we either got far enough ahead or had the bad luck to run into a tar barrel.
In a crowd as large as this, with the tar barrel running right through it, there really was no control. Every so often I got crushed against people as we all dodged out of the way of the fire- once or twice I was again front row to it- and there wasn't always warning. I couldn't see above the crowd, obviously, and had to rely on others to make sure I didn't end up in its path. Somehow we got far enough along the road that I was able to drag us across the crowd and down a side street where we could walk back into town sans tar barrels and crushing crowds.
I had it better; my friend doesn't like crowds.
Unnerved by the experience, we found a crowd free vantage point for the next barrel. While it was nowhere near as close as we had been for the last two, we weren't being crushed and still had a good view of the huge, flaming barrel on the guy's shoulders so it wasn't that awful. Once that had finished, we checked our watches and made the long walk back to the bus stop, in time for the next bus back to Uni.
All in all, it was a great experience.
But I now know why they warned us about crowds and fire before we got on the bus to go to Ottery St Mary...
So I'm a bit of a liar about weekly updates. But I've been a bit sick and busy so taking the time I should be working on my essay to write this. Yesterday was Bonfire Night, aka the day the English (British??) celebrate that time a dude nearly blew up Parliament but was caught by burning fires (with or without a stuffed version of him on it). Also there's fireworks. For like the last week, and I'm told continuing for the next week.
I made the choice to go out of town to celebrate this, as while Exeter did have a celebration happening Ottery St Mary seemed to be the place to be. Everyone I knew was going, and a bit of research showed that the 'Tar Barrels' they had there were world famous? According to them.
Either way, about 5:30pm I bundled up in my warmest clothes (which wasn't as warm as I really needed), met a friend and we caught the prebooked bus to Ottery St Mary. He had one of his flatmates with him but she was meeting her boyfriend there. Once she did, we saw her all of twice and both times by accident so she wasn't really a part of my night.
First thing we did do, once at the event (a good fifteen minute walk from the bus stop, half of which was along a dark, dark road), was head towards the smoke to see the bonfire just out of town. The very very big bonfire. Like I heard people saying the flames were getting to be 100 foot tall and staying about 50 metres from the fire, I could feel the heat of it. It was SO big.
<A close up A not close up>
We got closer. It got really, really warm. I thought I was going to have sunburn, it was that hot. After we'd had our fill of burning things- it took a while- we headed back towards the town, stopping to grab some food from one of the many food stalls along the road while ducking into a field to look at the rides they had- all overpriced but well lit. Night fair, for the win.
For a while we wondered around town, in search of something amusing. Then we found it, walking into a women's tar barrel race in a crowded but not overly crowded street. We got front road, well standing positions, as the women ran the barrels up and down the road we were standing on. Every so often I would have to move fast to get out of the road of the flaming barrel of tar (and woman) coming right at me. It was awesome, though by now I was glad I hadn't brought my camera (or honestly anything that didn't fit into the pockets of my overcoat).
Sadly the barrel couldn't last forever, so eventually the running of it ended. I caved in and brought a programme and my friend and I went in search of another race...or run. Not sure what the specifics are if there's no winner or other competitors...
But we must have been the worse navigators ever because we couldn't track down the next race. Annoyed we went back to the bonfire, which had died down since we left it. Though it was still big- I was told it would still be burning today and that they just leave it to burn out. I could believe that, being able to see the blue flames in the fire. And still feel some of the heat, though nowhere near as much.
Eventually we again got bored of burning things and decided to wander back into town.
Instead we wandered into a crowd. A very big crowd. Seeing no way around it, the pair of us tried to make our way through it, ignoring the large amount of pushing and shoving happening. I'm shorter than my friend and after he nearly lost me in the crowd we grabbed hands, not wanting to get lost in the mess.
It was then we either got far enough ahead or had the bad luck to run into a tar barrel.
In a crowd as large as this, with the tar barrel running right through it, there really was no control. Every so often I got crushed against people as we all dodged out of the way of the fire- once or twice I was again front row to it- and there wasn't always warning. I couldn't see above the crowd, obviously, and had to rely on others to make sure I didn't end up in its path. Somehow we got far enough along the road that I was able to drag us across the crowd and down a side street where we could walk back into town sans tar barrels and crushing crowds.
I had it better; my friend doesn't like crowds.
Unnerved by the experience, we found a crowd free vantage point for the next barrel. While it was nowhere near as close as we had been for the last two, we weren't being crushed and still had a good view of the huge, flaming barrel on the guy's shoulders so it wasn't that awful. Once that had finished, we checked our watches and made the long walk back to the bus stop, in time for the next bus back to Uni.
All in all, it was a great experience.
But I now know why they warned us about crowds and fire before we got on the bus to go to Ottery St Mary...
Friday, 12 September 2014
The Love Of Field And Coppice
Dorothea Mackeller- My Country
My Country has always been one of those poems I loved but the exact image that the first (often skipped) paragraph describes has escaped me.
Until now.
England is so green. And there's so many lanes- I'm currently in the city of Exeter and I can't walk more than say 50 metres without finding a lane (and it's an actual lane not a laneway). There's so many old old buildings in the main part of town, like older than anything you could find in Sydney and so many of them are just...shops. It's different.
There's been quite a few differences, all minor really. Windows don't have flyscreens- something I'm told is super common all over Europe. In the place I'm living, I've a pair of full length windows that open inward and I could, with minimal effort, climb out of them and over the metal bars that cover the bottom half. If I wasn't on the second floor that is... Oh and traffic lights go orange before they go green and everyone jaywalks for every set of lights.
But really, I've been settling in nicely to England. I met some friends of a friend and they're awesome and have shown me around a bit. I know where the Uni and town are and I've getting the hang of shopping for myself. All the minor issues I had when moving in (my UniKit stuff not arriving for 4 days; the jammed windows etc) have been resolved to some degree- enough that I'm comfortable.
I like it here and I can't wait for Uni to start back. =)
My Country has always been one of those poems I loved but the exact image that the first (often skipped) paragraph describes has escaped me.
Until now.
England is so green. And there's so many lanes- I'm currently in the city of Exeter and I can't walk more than say 50 metres without finding a lane (and it's an actual lane not a laneway). There's so many old old buildings in the main part of town, like older than anything you could find in Sydney and so many of them are just...shops. It's different.
There's been quite a few differences, all minor really. Windows don't have flyscreens- something I'm told is super common all over Europe. In the place I'm living, I've a pair of full length windows that open inward and I could, with minimal effort, climb out of them and over the metal bars that cover the bottom half. If I wasn't on the second floor that is... Oh and traffic lights go orange before they go green and everyone jaywalks for every set of lights.
But really, I've been settling in nicely to England. I met some friends of a friend and they're awesome and have shown me around a bit. I know where the Uni and town are and I've getting the hang of shopping for myself. All the minor issues I had when moving in (my UniKit stuff not arriving for 4 days; the jammed windows etc) have been resolved to some degree- enough that I'm comfortable.
I like it here and I can't wait for Uni to start back. =)
Tuesday, 3 June 2014
ENGLAND HERE I COME!
Well. Not quite yet. But soon! Because I AM GOING ON EXCHANGE.
After much waiting, Exeter has sent me an email confirming that they are offering me a place at their university next semester. I cannot tell you how glad I am to see that email- I've been so worried that I hadn't got it because it was taking so long. A feeling that wasn't helped when I got an email this morning asking for the second page of my application form as it had been lost and was needed.
But then I got it and I'm so HAPPY.
Oh gosh and now there's so much to organise...
But I got!
After much waiting, Exeter has sent me an email confirming that they are offering me a place at their university next semester. I cannot tell you how glad I am to see that email- I've been so worried that I hadn't got it because it was taking so long. A feeling that wasn't helped when I got an email this morning asking for the second page of my application form as it had been lost and was needed.
But then I got it and I'm so HAPPY.
Oh gosh and now there's so much to organise...
But I got!
Monday, 28 April 2014
Cute? Me?
So recently I was talking with a pair of my friends in a chatroom. I've never met these guys personally, we've only chatted in text based rooms (for the most part, I have had Skype and Pokemon phone calls with both) so they've never seen my face. So we got onto the topic of looking a lot like our siblings and one shared a photo of them with their brother. In return, I shared one of my brother and I.
And this person complimented me. Not like, 'Oh you look lovely' but called me beautiful and just described me as genuinely cute. Bemused at the reaction, I shared the rest of the post that photo was from and got called sexy in one of the photos. At this point the other person in the chat joined in, adding her voice to the chorus of me being pretty.
Well, firstly I cannot describe how good it feels to be described as pretty and beautiful and all those things. I don't wear makeup either and the photos were taken by my brother so I can't excuse away the compliments as being based on that or because the photographer was good. They genuinely liked me.
It's made me realise that every compliment I've gotten, mostly from my parents, has always either been about my face- my eyes are gorgeous, my hair looks great- or said with a qualifier. I would be a very pretty girl, if I lost some weight. You just need to lose some weight and you'll be a very pretty girl. Lose a couple of kilos and you'll look lovely.
Which is...not great for confidence. I want to lose weight but I also want to eat chocolate and at the moment that's causing a conflict where I'm not actually losing weight. It's tiring monitoring every bite you eat and often I cannot be bothered. So I've just been living with the idea that I'm not really pretty, I just exist.
And this chat has rocked my world with the idea that that might not be true.
And this person complimented me. Not like, 'Oh you look lovely' but called me beautiful and just described me as genuinely cute. Bemused at the reaction, I shared the rest of the post that photo was from and got called sexy in one of the photos. At this point the other person in the chat joined in, adding her voice to the chorus of me being pretty.
Well, firstly I cannot describe how good it feels to be described as pretty and beautiful and all those things. I don't wear makeup either and the photos were taken by my brother so I can't excuse away the compliments as being based on that or because the photographer was good. They genuinely liked me.
It's made me realise that every compliment I've gotten, mostly from my parents, has always either been about my face- my eyes are gorgeous, my hair looks great- or said with a qualifier. I would be a very pretty girl, if I lost some weight. You just need to lose some weight and you'll be a very pretty girl. Lose a couple of kilos and you'll look lovely.
Which is...not great for confidence. I want to lose weight but I also want to eat chocolate and at the moment that's causing a conflict where I'm not actually losing weight. It's tiring monitoring every bite you eat and often I cannot be bothered. So I've just been living with the idea that I'm not really pretty, I just exist.
And this chat has rocked my world with the idea that that might not be true.
Monday, 14 April 2014
Magic Week
Well it has been. So far my week has been BRILLIANT and my plans for the rest of it are only going to make it much better.
Sunday I met my favourite actor, Benedict Cumberbatch. The day was amazing (I did a write up of it here which I'm not going to copy and paste because it's 2000 words) and I met an awesome person, Anna, who kept me company for most of the day. It was lovely and worth it and he's so so sweet.
Monday was a bit meh because I had work but I picked up an extra shift at work which I desperately need. And I got to see some of the people I work with that I've not seen in ages because of the shifts I've been working which was nice.
Then came my birthday, today. About midnight people on tumblr started to wish me a Happy Birthday and that write up I did started to collect loads of notes. The people in chat wished me a Happy Birthday too, complete with a sing along and virtual cake. Which was incredibly sweet of them. Then I checked my email, at 2am, as I was going to bed.
I had my offer letter for exchange.
I am nominated to Exeter!
I'M SO HAPPY.
Plus tomorrow I go to the Easter show and Friday I have my birthday party.
Like I said, this is a magic week.
Sunday I met my favourite actor, Benedict Cumberbatch. The day was amazing (I did a write up of it here which I'm not going to copy and paste because it's 2000 words) and I met an awesome person, Anna, who kept me company for most of the day. It was lovely and worth it and he's so so sweet.
Monday was a bit meh because I had work but I picked up an extra shift at work which I desperately need. And I got to see some of the people I work with that I've not seen in ages because of the shifts I've been working which was nice.
Then came my birthday, today. About midnight people on tumblr started to wish me a Happy Birthday and that write up I did started to collect loads of notes. The people in chat wished me a Happy Birthday too, complete with a sing along and virtual cake. Which was incredibly sweet of them. Then I checked my email, at 2am, as I was going to bed.
I had my offer letter for exchange.
I am nominated to Exeter!
I'M SO HAPPY.
Plus tomorrow I go to the Easter show and Friday I have my birthday party.
Like I said, this is a magic week.
Tuesday, 25 March 2014
More Interview Stuff
So I had my interview for exchange today.
It was very relaxed. Like, I dressed up a bit for it because interview but I really shouldn't have bothered. Though I'm sure it helped form a good opinion. But mostly it was a quick chat, held over my paperwork.
And I think I got in.
Well, more than think, at one point I noticed the way she was talking was as if I was in. So I asked if I was, in fact, accepted. And she said yes, I have been accepted to my university's exchange program because no flags in my paperwork, nothing beyond a missed signature from my faculty. Which is not a guarantee I'll go on exchange, I still have to be accepted at a host university. But it means they'll be trying to get me to one of those and they want me to go overseas.
It's a step. A big step.
If everything goes to plan, in six months or so, I could be living in England. It hasn't really sunk in.
I wonder when it will.
It was very relaxed. Like, I dressed up a bit for it because interview but I really shouldn't have bothered. Though I'm sure it helped form a good opinion. But mostly it was a quick chat, held over my paperwork.
And I think I got in.
Well, more than think, at one point I noticed the way she was talking was as if I was in. So I asked if I was, in fact, accepted. And she said yes, I have been accepted to my university's exchange program because no flags in my paperwork, nothing beyond a missed signature from my faculty. Which is not a guarantee I'll go on exchange, I still have to be accepted at a host university. But it means they'll be trying to get me to one of those and they want me to go overseas.
It's a step. A big step.
If everything goes to plan, in six months or so, I could be living in England. It hasn't really sunk in.
I wonder when it will.
Tuesday, 18 March 2014
International Exchange
I have an interview for International Exchange.
Oh gosh, I've got an interview.
I'm going to go freak out over there, don't mind me.
Oh gosh, I've got an interview.
I'm going to go freak out over there, don't mind me.
Monday, 10 March 2014
Day Six
It's about halfway through the time my parents are away for and I'm not sure if I miss them or want them to stay away longer.
On the one hand, I'm really enjoying having the house to myself (practically). I can get up when I want or need to, I can do what I want without having to plan around the possibility they'll need or want me to do something. I can get things done in my own time, without worrying they'll think I'm taking too long and do it themselves while grumbling at me.
But on the other hand, it's exhausting being responsible. I don't know if I'm doing things right, or if I'm forgetting to do anything. My brother is a step away from useless, seemingly capable only of remembering to feed himself and occasionally watch the dog. I'm running the house while trying to also get myself back into the swing of uni and I've no idea if I'm letting things slide through the cracks.
I also think I'm lonely. The house is dead quiet and my brother is always in his room. The dog is only good for company half the time and there's only so much my music can do to chase away the quietness. It's nothing like my usual nights, spent sitting beside a sleeping Dad who, while asleep, is still actually there.
I'll handle it. I've not much of a choice really.
(And in other news, I get to see Benedict Cumberbatch in April and maybe (if they don't sell out) get a photograph with him!!!! So excited.)
On the one hand, I'm really enjoying having the house to myself (practically). I can get up when I want or need to, I can do what I want without having to plan around the possibility they'll need or want me to do something. I can get things done in my own time, without worrying they'll think I'm taking too long and do it themselves while grumbling at me.
But on the other hand, it's exhausting being responsible. I don't know if I'm doing things right, or if I'm forgetting to do anything. My brother is a step away from useless, seemingly capable only of remembering to feed himself and occasionally watch the dog. I'm running the house while trying to also get myself back into the swing of uni and I've no idea if I'm letting things slide through the cracks.
I also think I'm lonely. The house is dead quiet and my brother is always in his room. The dog is only good for company half the time and there's only so much my music can do to chase away the quietness. It's nothing like my usual nights, spent sitting beside a sleeping Dad who, while asleep, is still actually there.
I'll handle it. I've not much of a choice really.
(And in other news, I get to see Benedict Cumberbatch in April and maybe (if they don't sell out) get a photograph with him!!!! So excited.)
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